A Mission to Change the World

I have a mission to change the world for the better.  My husband says I am doomed to fail.  Perhaps, I am.  Perhaps I will not make the slightest difference at all.  But maybe, just maybe, I can cause one person to think twice the next time they are talking with their friends about the use of THAT word.  Maybe I can change the mind and heart of one person.  So I have a mission.  I never let that word pass without saying something.  Ever.  I don't care who says it.

"Mr. President!  Excuse me?  What did you say about your bowling abilities?  Perhaps you should reword that!  NOW!  I realize you didn't actually say the word.  And I know you are joking.  But you implied the stigma, and you made fun of it!"

Let me start by explaining a few things.  First I grew up loving and playing with my cousin Joe Joe.  And I have defended him against mean bullying brats on the school bus from the first day I got on it.  Joe Joe was a kind soul.  He loved everyone.  And even he would furrow his brow and frown at their merciless taunts of "RETARD!"  Joe Joe was non-verbal.  But he would flip them the finger.  This boy who loved everyone would flip them the finger for calling him that word.  He was born with Down Syndrome.  He did not walk until he was 6.  He only said a very few words, and they were difficult to understand.  He said my name.  He loved me.  Of course, it sounded like "Guna."  My name is actually Lacynda.  But I knew he was saying my name.  He passed away a few years ago.  Thankfully, passing before his mother, my aunt.  I know her grief is beyond expression and that she does not feel this way, but she was his sole caretaker.  If she had gone first, Joe Joe would have been lost without her.  One of his brothers doubtlessly would have taken over, but I don't see them doing it with as much love and tenderness as his mother.  He would have lost more than he could have handled I fear.  But back to my point.  Joe Joe was a wonderful human being.  He always greeted everyone with a hug and a smile.  But he understood the hurtfulness of that word being flung at him, and he responded in kind.  How evil is a word that it can make a sweet, kind, loving non-verbal person respond to it with an obscene gesture?

Second, I have a 4 year old son, who is the center of my universe and who has severe epilepsy, mild cerebral palsy, and a moderate to severe developmental delay, being assessed at 12 -18 months developmentally.  He is also non-verbal.  He does not understand THAT word yet.  No one has flung it in a hateful way in his direction.  His younger brother, who is neuro-typical, also has no idea of the insidiousness of that word.  I know though that soon both of my boys will know the sting and hurt that word will cause.  I can't protect them from it forever.  But I guarantee the first time I hear it, the little brat who uses it will certainly get an earful from this Mama.

There is a ridiculous defense that "I am not using that word against anyone in particular and I have freedom of speech, so I am not apologizing for using it."  Give me a break.  You don't have to use it against anyone.  Just using it at all is an affront to humanity.  It makes it socially acceptable to bully an entire group of people, including MY CHILD.  And not just children.  I am talking about adults bullying an entire group of people, taking advantage of them.  A year or two ago, there was a Turkey company in Iowa, who were shut down by social services because they brought in a group of developmentally challenged men from Texas to work in their processing plant, paying them below minimum wage, and housing them in a condemned building without heat and running water, in the dead of winter, by the way, without benefits, without health care.  Basically, they were using these men as slave labor...IN AMERICA.  And then there are the people who steal from and abuse people in group homes because they have no one to stand up for them.  And it is all socially acceptable because we degrade and belittle people by using that word.  Further, your rights only extend as far as they don't impede upon mine.  So if you think you have the right to call somebody a "retard," then I have the right to tell you why it's wrong.   And if you can listen to why I am offended and not apologize for having offended me, then you are deficient in morality.

All I am asking is that you think about the words you use.  All of them.  Think before you pour them out of your mouth to the world at large.  They do have an effect.  They do have power.  They do make a difference.  They do cause strong emotions.  You don't have to subscribe to "political correctness."  Just try to not use any words that by design and context are intended to belittle or degrade another human being.